Nineteen

Pee Girl

Hey y'all

This------->

is the women's restroom for the lounge at the bowling alley where we do karaoke most Friday nights. It's a one stall -one sink deal. Not much room as you can see.

This was my vantage point Friday night as I entered.

Except I could not see that sink.

Why?

Because some fairly drunk chick was sitting in it------ peeing.

And when I say sitting in it I mean just that--she was not hovering she was hunkered down. When she saw me she laughed and jumped down and said "I'm sorry. I really had to go!" and started yanking up her jeans. Her friend in the stall was laughing so hard she was snorting.

I just shook my head and smiled and something benign and they left.

I can guarantee you I did not wash my hands.

Thank god for hand sanitizer.

The rest of the story is that Brad dubbed her "Pee Girl". She kept coming by the table to make comments and say hi.

I guess she thought it a bonding experience.

So if you are headed out for some St. Patrick's Day festivities I'd be sure to pack some hand sanitizer.

You never know when Pee Girl will strike next.

Smooches and some sanitized gropes babies. Erin Go Bragh!

My Baby Meme

This has been making the rounds and it's fun so I give you

Twenty Things About My Baby


1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

If it's on it's likely to be PTI, baseball, Seinfeld or Family Guy.


2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

Blue cheese. Ranch is his second favorite.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?

There's quite a list but broccoli and peanut butter are in a battle royale for most reviled.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?

The meal depends on where we eat--for instance at Ramsey's he's likely to order the Cajun fried catfish with mashed potatoes and gravy, garden salad with blue cheese dressing but if we go to Bar Louie it's a basket of tots and then trying something new. He usually orders Coke Zero with a meal--Diet Coke is a substitute. He'll drink a Bud or LIT.

5. Where did he go to high school?

Northhampton High School.

6. What size shoe does he wear?

15

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

Oh he's a collector--it's whatever strikes his fancy. Current collections include Seinfeld stuff, Blues Brothers stuff, autographs etc....

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?!

He likes several but high on the list is braunschweiger with a little slivered sweet onion, some provolone and or swiss on marble rye dressed with a mustard/mayo combination.


9. What would this person eat every day if he could?

Buttery mashed potatoes

10. What is his favorite cereal?
Special K


11. What would he never wear?

He's liable to wear anything given the right circumstances but a tuxedo comes to mind as least likely

12. What is his favorite sports team?
Pro: Boston Red Sox College: Florida Gators

13. Who did he vote for?
Obama

14. Who is his best friend?

Me.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

Try to be all 'manly' doing yard work.

16. What is his heritage?

Lots of Irish and ....

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Chocolate with 3 inches of chocolate frosting.

18. Did he play sports in high school?
No.

19. What could he spend hours doing?

Loving on me; playing WoW; the latest FB game; studying baseball; reading

20. What is one unique talent he has?

He can talk to anybody and pique their interest.


I could go on but the meme stopped there. Can you tell I adore him?


Smooches and some this girl's in love gropes babies.

U-Scan Etiquette 101

I am an avid U-Scan user. Brad loves to go through the checkout lanes so he can interact (translate --mess with ) the clerks but I'd much rather do the self serve thing.

I like being in control of how things go in the bags and it gives me another look at what I might have missed. It's fast and easy to use. Our Kroger has both express (15 items or less) and the full cart carousel kind. I buy a LOT of produce so I know the codes and ours has a feature that just lets you type in the name of the produce if you need to. Everything gets bagged correctly, I just swipe my card and boom I'm gone.

I was thrilled when they put in the U-Scan machines. I'd had enough of being ignored as my thoughtfully sorted items were checked through and piled into a mess, the carefully picked produce dumped in with the cans, the bread scrunched in the middle, the ice cream stuck in with the hot deli chicken. Sigh.

And this was all the while listening to the endless drama of who stole whose boyfriend and who was being screwed over at work and when was break and who was 'zoomin' who .... blah blah blah.

So I revel in being able to use the U-Scan in peace--that is until someone displays outright rudeness or stupidity or both and gums up the works. After my last bout with the rudeness this Sunday I thought I'd run down some U-Scan etiquette.

• If you don't know how to use it please don't try to learn when the store is full and lines are long.



• If you have small children it is NOT CUTE when you allow them to essentially play with the scanning when the store is full and the lines are long. Seriously people, this is incredibly rude.



• If it says 15 items or less then don't get in that line unless you have 15 items or less! This is particularly annoying with U-Scan because the stations for the express are not set up to handle much.



• Allow the person using the U-Scan to FINISH before you step up and try to use it. It will not work for you until I've gotten my bags off of the carousel. ( This one goes out to the rude woman who tried this when I was checking out Sunday).



• Do NOT use a check. If you absolutely must--please do your bookkeeping once you have cleared the lanes.



• Have your shopper's card/coupons ready .



• Remember that the attendant is taking care of as many as six scanners at a time. They are not your 'personal shopper'.

This is definitely not a definitive list. What would you suggest to help others learn to make the U-Scan experience better for us all?

They Don't Call It Crackberry For Nothing!

Hey y'all

It's official....

I have succumbed-- at Brad's urging I must add--and am now the proud slave to my very own Blackberry Storm.

It's been fun learning to use it on my own. I have to take time to do the Blackberry 101 thing this weekend so I can know what to do with all the bells and whistles on it. I wonder if I can have it make my tea?*grin*

Of course I'll be incredibly grateful to have this contact with the outside world as I am surviving the Lord of The Rings marathon which we will attend on Saturday. It's something like 13 frickin hours of movies, people! I've turned down this invitation each year with the line "I'm a geek but I'm not that big of a geek". Hmmm I guess the worm has turned;-) So anyway --when you see me updating Facebook or possibly on Twitter (do I dare?) please be gentle.


*****************

Brad has posted a small update about ConFab, Baby. Email me if you need more specifics regarding hotels or if you have a 'punch' recipe you'd like to share. June 13 will be here before we know it.

Smooches and some blackberry stained gropes babies.

Your Hands

from Versos del capitan by Pablo Neruda



When your hands leap

towards mine, love,

what do they bring me in flight?

Why did they stop

at my lips, so suddenly,

why do I know them,

as if once before,

I have touched them,

as if, before being,

they traveled

my forehead, my waist?

Their smoothness came

winging through time,

over the sea and the smoke,

over the Spring,

and when you laid

your hands on my chest

I knew those wings

of the gold doves,

I knew that clay,

and that colour of grain.

The years of my life

have been roadways of searching,

a climbing of stairs,

a crossing of reefs.

Trains hurled me onwards

waters recalled me,

on the surface of grapes

it seemed that I touched you.

Wood, of a sudden,

made contact with you,

the almond-tree summoned

your hidden smoothness,

until both your hands

closed on my chest,

like a pair of wings

ending their flight.